Soulmate or Soulmates?

I did a radio show last Saturday morning. We had a great time! One of the questions that came up was did I believe that a person has only one soulmate or more? Great question!

Just as we have several or many good and even “best” friends throughout a lifetime, I believe a person can have more than one soulmate—someone with whom we share a profoundly close connection on many levels; someone who knows us without having to know a lot about us; someone committed to our happiness and fulfillment and who takes joy in our accomplishments, large and small; someone with whom we take comfort physically—after all, love relationships are different and beyond being friends!

 

My horses, Bazan and Miata.  I don’t know that they are soulmates, but they are most definitely best friends!

 

One may as well ask, do I love my friend of 60 years, Peggy, more than Tammy, my friend of 15 years? Do I love my brother, Mark, more than I love my son, Josh? Impossible to answer. Each of these people contribute to my life abundantly as I do to each of their lives. Each relationship is itself special and unique. One relationship does not replace another, because life is lived three- or-more-dimensionally and on many plains and playing fields.

I do not feel jealous knowing that Tammy has other friends that she loves and who love her. I am not worried that if Josh spends time with his kids separate from me that our relationship is somehow less important or in jeopardy. I think we have to stop thinking that love is scarce—that somehow we run out of our capacity to love or that once filled up with love, there is no room for anymore.

I think it would be a tragedy if a mate dies, leaving his or her partner to experience life alone without any hope of finding anyone else to fill the void. This does not mean that the first relationship was repeatable! Individuals are individuals. What they create together is special to them.

Nor does it mean that the widow or widower may not elect to carry on alone. This should be an individual choice, period.

All that said, it is my personal belief that life is better lived with that sort of close and deep connection with someone to share in life’s challenges and victories! I hope it’s a long time off before either Charley or I will have to face making such choices. I’d like to think that the way we both feel now is the way we will feel later on.