I Fell in Love with Charley Because…..

Wow! There are so many reasons!

I will devote separate blog posts to each reason starting with this: He spoke well of his ex-wife. He was honest with me about why they broke up, but never disrespectful of her in his conversations on the subject. In fact, he praised her intelligence, her friendship, and what a terrific mom she was with Simon and Amy who were age four and two respectively at the time we got married in 1987.

Boy do we look goofy! Charley, me, Mary Kay and Simon trying out the camera in my new computer (December 2012). This is NOT a photo for posterity!

That he had integrity on the matter was attractive to me. And while I couldn’t be certain at the time that he was being honest and sincere in his feelings (or just playing me), it was clear to me in a short time, that this was just the way he was–just  him.

In the intervening years (soon to be 26), Mary Kay has been an important part of our family, and not just because she’s the mother of his children. While there have been “moments” that were challenging—disagreements, different points of view (after all, they are divorced; if everything had been peachy-keen, they might still be married!)—it’s mostly been a matter of mutual support, friendship, affection and spending holidays together playing board games and eating (yummy–I shouldn’t write a post and mention food when I’m hungry!).

I will address the subject of being a step-parent in a subsequent blog. But I do want to say that while marrying someone with young children was not on my original vision statement (I was, after all, 45 at the time with an adult child), I wouldn’t trade one moment of the past 26 year’s worth of involvement in Simon and Amy’s lives for anything! They have enriched my life tremendously.

If someone you’re dating or considering as mate material was previously married or involved in a long-term relationship, pay attention to how that person talks about his or her ex or exes. It’s not that he or she has to speak glowingly—no doubt there were reasons for the break-up that might have been unpleasant. But if your date goes on and on about how awful it all was, it might be a sign of a lack of responsibility on your dates part for what happened in that relationship.

More on responsibility in subsequent posts! (Hint: responsibility is NOT a four-letter word!)

Yours in love,

Tanii