Filters—a Sweeping Manifesto of Behavior

When a woman looks at a man and mentally filters how she will communicate with him based on a sweeping manifesto of behavior, she is not being herself in the moment to honestly give or receive communication. If she is not herself—which she damned well better believe is more than her breast size—how will she share who she is, or be free enough to find out who that person in front of her is deeply, profoundly? Not likely to happen. (This may have something to do with why it takes so long to get to know someone—maybe because it takes so long to strip away all the filters.)

My husband and I knew within a few hours that we were each other’s soulmate—the person we’d been hoping for and dreaming about (though truth be told, in my dreams I did not imagine just how amazing a relationship could be). Factually, Charley fell in love with me at first sighting—long before I knew he existed.

 

Communication: An important key to ANY relationship.

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Experts with the Answers—Maybe Yes, Maybe No

In the past few months I’ve met some terrific people in the relationship field: Ariel Ford, Jack Canfield and Julie Ferman among them—people whom I respect and whose ideas offer a more holistic view of men/women relationships. However, I’m also seeing a lot of sites and professionals who play up the generalized differences between the sexes as their primary message and focus with little to no attention on the unique and distinct qualities that make individuals, individual. And I think that this narrow focus—on our differences, broadly advanced in society among a trusting public who often buy, wholesale, what viewpoints experts further—opens the door to disrespect, dishonor, and ultimately violence and abuse.

We see the extremes of this in foreign countries where it is somehow okay for men to beat or kill their female family members because they are women; they are different from men—different being the great justifier of inhumane acts perpetrated by one entity upon another. “Hey, it’s not my team, my family, my sex. It’s the other team, family, sex, the one that is different from me, my enemy.”

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

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This past Sunday, March 8^th, was International Women’s Day, a global celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women as well as a celebration for women’s economic, political and social achievements. Sadly, it is also a sobering reminder of how many women throughout the world are victims of violence and abuse which, in my view, has only escalated over time (or maybe we’re just hearing about it more).

The holiday gave me pause to consider what the origins of such abusive behavior might be. Are there baby steps that lead to overt abuse; or does a person go from loving and respecting a woman to abusing her in one giant step? More importantly, what can be done to halt and even reverse the downward spiral?

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

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Due to Charley’s hectic work schedule, we don’t have much chance to “get outta Dodge.” But our new Range Rover provided us with a great excuse to get up to Carmel by the Sea, four hours from our home in Southern California. We bought the Rover specifically for its off-road capabilities to accommodate Charley’s love of photography (he was a pro photographer for many years before we met). Landscapes is one of his specialties so we really needed a car that would safely take him to roads less traveled.

 

Seems that there are only three Land Rover training locations in the U.S. and the only one west of the Mississippi is in—you guessed it—Carmel! Which happens also to be the home of my wonderful brother Mark and his lovely wife Barbara, whom we visit whenever we get the chance.

 

 

Land Rover is the parent company, Range Rover being one of its models. Here we are after our Experience, none the worse for wear and happy, happy, happy!

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Perhaps! Today I did the second radio show with Natassja “Lady NV” Bynoe. Her show originates in Barbados, but has an audience in Africa and Europe, a combination of lively music (I heard reggae in the background today) sprinkled with talk. As before, we had fun! Plus, she sent us a photo of her reading my book as her dog sat on her lap! (She told me today that in her town, her dog gets recognized more than she does!) I guess it went well today because I’ll be on again next week! Thanks, Natassja!

I also did an interview with Phil Hulett & Friends this week, based in Southern California. It was short but fast-paced and I really like these guys! You can check out Phil, his friends, and show at: http://philhulettandfriends.com/

Both these shows were on how to recover from relationship hell (been there, done that—not going to do that again…ever)!

Natassja “Lady NV” Bynoe and her adorable pooch!  I wonder if they’re both reading my book! 

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