“Workable” is not the same as “working at!”

I know it doesn’t sound very romantic to say that your most personal relationship is workable. But when I hear people say that it takes “work” to keep a relationship going–as if it’s a constant struggle without which it would fall apart–I must comment.

It was Christmas Eve 2011. We found this little guy—abandoned, cold and starving—on the hill behind our house. We took him in, fed him and got him physically well. He bonded with me and bit everybody else, finally giving Charley a deep puncture wound on his hand. Some relationships–despite our investment of time, effort and desire–just don’t work out because they weren’t workable to begin with.

Once again I go back to my experience with animals, pets. Before Roxy, we had two amazing and wonderful dogs: Milo, the red and white Border Collie, and Milo, the black and white Australian Shepherd. (I really like that name so it’s been given to the pooch de jour and now our beloved cat…Milo). There wasn’t anything wrong with either of those dogs. In fact, they were pretty terrific. That said, they were not a good fit for Charley and me. The relationship was not workable and, in truth, it was a lot of work in both cases for different reasons.

Same with interpersonal relationships–or, actually, any relationship including those of a business nature. In fact, let’s take this conversation out of the realm of love relationships and put it into a business environment as it may be easier to get the point and less emotionally charged. There are plenty of challenges for a company just to get their goods and services into the hands of their customers–even some drama at times and certainly stress as well. For a company to not only survive but thrive, expand and become profitable, the company team must be of one mind focusing on achieving their goals. If there’s in-fighting and disagreement, that company is going to have a helluva time reaching their business objectives. A truly “workable” business environment–one in which there is cooperation, agreement on objectives, and a willingness on everyone’s part to work together–ensures a thriving business.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could view our love relationships and encounters with that level of rationality? More next time…

Yours in love,

Tanii