Just When You Thought You Knew It All!

I’ve been working on a new 25-minute talk to let people know that they’re not alone in their quest for love, with tips for how to achieve their goals. It’s a good talk—or so I thought! But even as I believed my audiences would stand up and cheer my brilliance, I also knew that there’s no substitute for speaking in front of a live audience to make sure you’re on the right track.

So last Friday, I invited a bunch of people over to my home to listen and provide feedback. And oh boy, did they ever give feedback!! Fortunately, I got all of it on video because being caught up in the moment as I was, I could not have otherwise remembered everything that was said.

It’s not that my intended talk was bad. It just wasn’t relevant, especially as compared with the material covered AFTER my formalized speech! In my self-imposed vacuum (you know, writers do some of their best work alone behind closed doors), I thought I was on the mark, that my message was clear. Turns out, it was mostly clear to me because I knew the backstory already—I lived it! And my audience, not being in my head, didn’t know how I got from Point A to Point B! My prepared talk had holes in it.

My sunroom was the perfect location for the talk!

I didn’t have time to regret my mistakes, because the questions and comments that followed were so rich, so enlightened—SO HELPFUL—I drank it all in! Together we were engaged, committed to the process, and my answers to their questions will now help me develop a talk that will be highly relevant and open the door to me being able to actually help my audiences!

Such is life itself. You can get all caught up in how wonderful you think you are. And in your own mind and universe, you should be your own fan. But until you communicate who you are to another—and are willing to get very real live feedback—you’ll never know if you’re being relevant. And being relevant to the object of your affections is important. Unless you want to rejoice in your greatness in the privacy of your own home forever.

Yours in love,

Tanii