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Introduction
It was Saturday, January 31st. All I wanted him to do was help me load a heavy chair from my garage into a borrowed truck. Simple. I was 45; he had just turned 29. The following Friday we decided to get married and did so three weeks later, exactly four weeks after that fateful Saturday when my life changed forever.
On February 28, 2013, we celebrated our 26th anniversary. He still thinks I’m eye candy and I still think he’s the sexiest, most wonderful man in the world.
I know exactly what I did to go from twice-divorced and miserable to meeting the man of my dreams in a few short weeks. What I did is the subject of this blog and my book, “Ten Weeks to Love.”
I Didn’t Kill Them! Yay!
In some circles I’m known as the plant killer. I’ve been given—or purchased—plants of various types all my life. I love plants, which is why it’s been so shameful and devastating when they don’t survive cohabitation. What is frustrating is that I think I’m doing right by them, a notion which is sadly disabused when the leaves start turning yellow and going limp (a sure sign that I’m overwatering them).
(The only consistent exception is philodendron. I’ve not been able to kill them no matter what I do, which is why you will see many of them at my home.)
Therefore, it is with great pride that I tell you that those lovely orchid plants that I was given about a year ago are not only still here, but all four of them are blooming again?!! OMG! I am so stoked!
My beautiful orchids, thriving in my spa room!
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt – All Good!
When it comes to a viewpoint about marriage, I’m a fan. While hardly reflecting a traditional start, Angelina Jolie’s comments on marriage mirror some of my own thoughts.
“It did change [after marriage],” Jolie told NBC’s Tom Brokaw about her relationship with Pitt in November. “We were fortunate enough to be in that unusual situation. We got married with our children and they were part of the ceremony and they wrote some of the vows. It was all of us agreeing to be together and to just commit to this life together. Not because we had to, not because anything was missing in our lives… because we were absolutely sure we felt that much of a family. It was really lovely.”
Jolie and Pitt… they certainly seem to be a lovely couple in every way!
Want to Live Longer???
A recent study and report in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, tells us that:
- Loneliness and social isolation are significant risk factors contributing to premature death (even suggesting a greater risk than obesity!)
- People under the age of 65 are more likely to be affected than people over 65
- We are at the highest recorded rate of living alone in the entire century in the U.S. and worldwide
…and all of this at a time when we have:
- Unprecedented access to social media connections through the Internet
- Record numbers of dating, matchmaking, and singles organizations
- More and more people opting out of marriage in favor of living together and
- Divorce rates are still high!
Does anyone besides me see what’s wrong with this picture?!
The loneliest pup in all the land…
Monogamous or Polyamorous?
Not a subject I would have expected to be writing about! But I was directed to an online article by a woman who said she had come to realize that she was in love with two men at the same time. The article—well-written by the way—was about her journey to unravel her feelings. Ultimately, she had sexual relations with both men—with each man knowing about the other.
While I am committed to a monogamous life—and enjoy it enormously—I also think it’s important to consider the viewpoints of others, especially when presented in an intelligent way, as was the case with this article. The woman was candid while not being sordid.
The key to any good relationship, no matter how many people are involved, is communication!
Abuse, Part 3
Filters—a Sweeping Manifesto of Behavior
When a woman looks at a man and mentally filters how she will communicate with him based on a sweeping manifesto of behavior, she is not being herself in the moment to honestly give or receive communication. If she is not herself—which she damned well better believe is more than her breast size—how will she share who she is, or be free enough to find out who that person in front of her is deeply, profoundly? Not likely to happen. (This may have something to do with why it takes so long to get to know someone—maybe because it takes so long to strip away all the filters.)
My husband and I knew within a few hours that we were each other’s soulmate—the person we’d been hoping for and dreaming about (though truth be told, in my dreams I did not imagine just how amazing a relationship could be). Factually, Charley fell in love with me at first sighting—long before I knew he existed.
Communication: An important key to ANY relationship.