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Introduction

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It was Saturday, January 31st. All I wanted him to do was help me load a heavy chair from my garage into a borrowed truck. Simple. I was 45; he had just turned 29. The following Friday we decided to get married and did so three weeks later, exactly four weeks after that fateful Saturday when my life changed forever.

On February 28, 2013, we celebrated our 26th anniversary. He still thinks I’m eye candy and I still think he’s the sexiest, most wonderful man in the world.

I know exactly what I did to go from twice-divorced and miserable to meeting the man of my dreams in a few short weeks. What I did is the subject of this blog and my book, “Ten Weeks to Love.”

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Want to Live Longer???

A recent study and report in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, tells us that:

  • Loneliness and social isolation are significant risk factors contributing to premature death (even suggesting a greater risk than obesity!)
  • People under the age of 65 are more likely to be affected than people over 65
  • We are at the highest recorded rate of living alone in the entire century in the U.S. and worldwide

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…and all of this at a time when we have:

  • Unprecedented access to social media connections through the Internet
  • Record numbers of dating, matchmaking, and singles organizations
  • More and more people opting out of marriage in favor of living together and
  • Divorce rates are still high!

Does anyone besides me see what’s wrong with this picture?!

 

The loneliest pup in all the land…

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Monogamous or Polyamorous?

Not a subject I would have expected to be writing about! But I was directed to an online article by a woman who said she had come to realize that she was in love with two men at the same time. The article—well-written by the way—was about her journey to unravel her feelings. Ultimately, she had sexual relations with both men—with each man knowing about the other.

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While I am committed to a monogamous life—and enjoy it enormously—I also think it’s important to consider the viewpoints of others, especially when presented in an intelligent way, as was the case with this article. The woman was candid while not being sordid.

 

The key to any good relationship, no matter how many people are involved, is communication!

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Abuse, Part 3

Filters—a Sweeping Manifesto of Behavior

When a woman looks at a man and mentally filters how she will communicate with him based on a sweeping manifesto of behavior, she is not being herself in the moment to honestly give or receive communication. If she is not herself—which she damned well better believe is more than her breast size—how will she share who she is, or be free enough to find out who that person in front of her is deeply, profoundly? Not likely to happen. (This may have something to do with why it takes so long to get to know someone—maybe because it takes so long to strip away all the filters.)

My husband and I knew within a few hours that we were each other’s soulmate—the person we’d been hoping for and dreaming about (though truth be told, in my dreams I did not imagine just how amazing a relationship could be). Factually, Charley fell in love with me at first sighting—long before I knew he existed.

 

Communication: An important key to ANY relationship.

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Abuse, Part 2

Experts with the Answers—Maybe Yes, Maybe No

In the past few months I’ve met some terrific people in the relationship field: Ariel Ford, Jack Canfield and Julie Ferman among them—people whom I respect and whose ideas offer a more holistic view of men/women relationships. However, I’m also seeing a lot of sites and professionals who play up the generalized differences between the sexes as their primary message and focus with little to no attention on the unique and distinct qualities that make individuals, individual. And I think that this narrow focus—on our differences, broadly advanced in society among a trusting public who often buy, wholesale, what viewpoints experts further—opens the door to disrespect, dishonor, and ultimately violence and abuse.

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We see the extremes of this in foreign countries where it is somehow okay for men to beat or kill their female family members because they are women; they are different from men—different being the great justifier of inhumane acts perpetrated by one entity upon another. “Hey, it’s not my team, my family, my sex. It’s the other team, family, sex, the one that is different from me, my enemy.”

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

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Abuse and Violence Against Women – Are “Good” People Creating It?

This past Sunday, March 8th, was International Women’s Day, a global celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women as well as a celebration for women’s economic, political and social achievements. Sadly, it is also a sobering reminder of how many women throughout the world are victims of violence and abuse which, in my view, has only escalated over time (or maybe we’re just hearing about it more).

Domestic violence

The holiday gave me pause to consider what the origins of such abusive behavior might be. Are there baby steps that lead to overt abuse; or does a person go from loving and respecting a woman to abusing her in one giant step? More importantly, what can be done to halt and even reverse the downward spiral?

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

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